Thoughts on the ‘bad’ Korea…

I saw an Oprah show, showing an inside look at “modern-day” North Korea by reporter Lisa Ling (not to be confused with “Charlie’s Angels” star Lucy Liu). The story was chilling. There wasn’t anyone walking around outside, certainly no one jogging or biking, and pictures of Kim Jong-Il were EVERYWHERE. It was scary–not a single ad to be found for any products. Also, every person had a picture of that man in their house, and everyday at least twice, this one family they showed would bow to it and give thanks. But they SAY they don’t worship him. Yeah, sure… Can you believe those people over there still take the (not surrender, but) cease-fire deal signed in 1950-something seriously? Not saying they shouldn’t, in the sense that they should go trigger-happy on South Korea, but in the sense that everyone else has moved on except them. Yeah, we’re still over there, but in a loose fashion, and South Korea’s 50-and-under civilian population is like “Korean War? When did that happen again?” North Korea, though, thinks that some shit is still likely to kick off at any moment, and is apparently still in full-alert mode even today. Isn’t that crazy??

Also, yesterday I read on cnn.com that “Supreme Commander” Kim (yep, that’s one of his bonafide titles) was quoted as saying that any further pressure on the United States’ part to disarm their nuclear program “will be taken as a declaration of war”. Oooo. And um, just what are you proposing to do about that, buddy? Stop trading with us? *smirk* Send shiploads of North Koreans to Manhattan’s harbor with bayoneted rifles to storm Sak’s Fifth Avenue and Trump Towers with the rallying cry “We Stand Together!“?? Ha-Ha-Highly doubtful. And he’s not crazy or stupid enough to use the nukes because that would set off the biggest shitstorm (pardon the pun) the world has ever seen. Try, “WWIII: WWII with a Vengeance”. If so, North Korea would probably be the one to be wiped off the map by the country with over 1 billion served, China. 1-2-3–Yay!

What do you mean, “Cheering is in bad taste”?  Would you miss them? Seriously? I thought not.

 

My Workday…

Here’s a list of things I normally have to say to the dumb-ass callers at work… (I kid you not):

1) This is the operator, how may I help you? No, I’m NOT a manager, this is the operator.

2) What’s your last name? Okay, what’s your first name? Now what’s your last name?

3) No we are not (insert company here). We’re (company name), an online travel agency. You’d have to contact that company for bartending positions.

4) The difference is that you’d sail out to SEA on a cruise, a resort would have very nice accommodations on LAND…

5) Before I get a manager, what is this concerning? No, managers only handle emergencies, so I need to know what this is concerning… I AM doing my job, by finding out what the concern is… Sir/Ma’am, I need to find out what the concern is BEFORE I put you through to a manager…

6) Well, (Name Here) actually IS in right now– they’re just on another line. If you can leave him/her a name and number on his/her VOICEMAIL, he/she will get back to you as soon as possible. (Boy, that sounds familiar…lol)

7) Yes, my name is (NAME)… (short pause) I said (NAME)… (short pause) N-A-M…

8) Is this an emergency? It is? Okay, what is the concern? Your place sitting for dining is in the wrong order. Alright, when do you leave? In a year. Okay…

9) On our website, we don’t post flight prices with the travel packages because we need to know where you’re flying FROM first…

10) You leave tomorrow? No, you CANNOT add a traveler now…

And last but not least…

11) Yes, there IS food served on the cruise ships… yes, and running water…(HA)

 Believe it or not, it’s true!

Hurricane Rita memories… Part 2

Here’s Part 2 of my adventure: When last you read, I was lost amidst a plethora of vehicles with no way out, armed with clothes, important data, a few snacks, and a wiener-dog, with an impending force of nature barreling towards the city.

Okay, this is what I did: I called everyone to let them know what happened. I was met with little to no concern from my family, basically blaming me for what happened, even my mom. *insert favorite expletive here* Mine is sonofaBITCH!  but whatever works for you…

Either way, I didn’t take that too well so, crying, I called the only other person with half a brain I know– my best friend. He didn’t leave; he stayed with his family. And to think I told him he was crazy… Huh! Well, as soon as I told him what happened, he hurried me over to his house, where I was greeted with caring attention, hot food… and a SHOWER! Yeah, baby! I’m telling you, sitting in hot traffic for 8 hours really does a number on your hygiene. I am SO grateful to have a great friend as him. For half the night, though, I kept tabs on my family. They ended up enduring over 18 total hours of sitting in traffic and very little sleep. It almost made me feel bad about the good sleep I got at my friend’s house. ALMOST. They shouldn’t have tried to make me feel bad about getting separated from them. Jerks.

Anyway, the next morning, his family decided to head to San Antonio, with the roads clear and all. It took them about 15 minutes to pack, I swear! We should all strive for that kind of efficiency, let me tell you, especially my family. So I lied to them, told them I was going to another relative’s house so they wouldn’t worry, and headed home. After I got home (on which we had not boarded anything up) and settled in for the hurricane, I did the best I could with what I had. Then I called my fiancé. Wow, he never made me feel so bad about what I did as when we were talking about my decision. I mean, he pulled out all the stops. Finally, I promised I would do my damndest to get to Dallas, for him.

I did, too. I drove that car to ‘E’ before I could fill up again. All the exits were blocked. I think it was the little towns being selfish with their gas. Not to worry. If God judges them for it, it’ll happen. Getting off my pulpit, though, I was never so happy for a full tank of gas and a bottle of ice-cold water as when I finally DID get it. Man! It was smooth sailing all the way to Dallas. Total road time: 5 hours.

 

 

Hurricane Rita memories… Part 1

Hmm. I saw my friend saw fit to include me in one of his blogs concerning the Hurricane Rita 2005 situation (leaving me anonymous of course, God bless him). I still remember that day like it was yesterday, so I’ll explain my part for my own benefit.

You see, we lived in a part of Texas where Hurricane Rita was sure to hit. Most likely if you live in even as remote a place as Zambia you’ve heard of her. Moving on, my family half-ass organized a plan to get the hell out of Dodge (on Wednesday, if you can believe it) a few days prior to the expected devastation. It would be my car, my mom’s car, my brother’s car, and his girlfriend’s car with the kids. The plan: we were loading up our cars and going to Dallas the next day at NOON. Do you see a problem with this? Apparently they didn’t; we hit the road no sooner than 2 PM. At least, I did– I kept bugging them about helping pack stuff and they kept saying “that’s okay, we got it” while they stopped for lunch, to watch TV, to talk, to play pool– and I got so pissed at them stalling that when they said “Well if you’re in such a rush to leave, then leave”, I left with my mom’s wiener-dog safely buckled in the backseat. They caught up with me about 20 minutes later, traffic was moving so slow. I was glad to see them, regardless.

About 6 hours later, we made it a total of 65 miles to the next city north of us. We were taking back roads until then (my brother’s a genius) and it was finally time to get onto I-45. There, the shit hit the fan. My brother was waiting for the southbound lane to open to northbound traffic, and my mother, in all her infinite wisdom, decided to take off for the northbound part of the freeway without picking up the phone to give us a head’s up. I promptly called my brother, he didn’t know what the hell she’s doing, so I called my mom, who told me she’s tired of waiting, and we can wait if we want to; she’d rather be on the freeway. Well, I’d never been in an evacuation situation before, and naturally I want my mommy, so me and the dog tried to follow. I gave my brother the courtesy of a phone call, though, and he said fine, do what you want. Unfortunately, my mom gave me a wrong turn with the directions, and I wound up in a buttload of traffic heading south on I-45. Thanks a lot, Mom. So then I was completely separated from everyone I love and didn’t know what the hell to do. What will become of me? Dun-dun-DUNNN… Tune in next blog…

 

1st Official Post…

Hmm. What to write, what to write… Oh yeah! There doesn’t seem to be much interest in my blog yet, so I guess I REALLY don’t have to worry about impressing people right now, do I? Mwaahahaha. I shall do what I please, and I shall be heretofore addressed as Her Supreme Omnipotence! I think if I ever had serious money, I mean obscene amounts of it like Bill Gates, I’d have minions. Not employees. Seriously. Everyone I hired would be hired only if they could tolerate being addressed as “Minion”. My driver would be the “Limo Minion”, my assistant would be my “Right-Hand Minion”, and my house-keeping staff would merely be “Cleaning Minions”. And I’d have three hippopotami in a pond in my 30-acre backyard. I think that’s big enough for hippos, don’t you? I’d name them FiFi, Francios, and Josette.

Hey, this is fun. Welcome to my whimsical world, ladies and gentlemen.